I preached a message yesterday on forgiveness. In one portion of the message I talked about people who are upset with you and you don’t know it. I explained how people can hold a grudge against you and be “hot” with you and mad at you and you don’t even know it.
I explained how if people knew that they were the cause of an offense and they are made aware of the offense that they would ask these people for forgiveness. Think about it. If you’re saved and know that you have hurt someone deeply, wouldn’t you want to get it right? Well, you can’t get it right if you know that you did something wrong.
Well, after the worship service yesterday I had a 6 year old child who I love tremendously and they have loved me since they were born. Whenever we see each other we run to each other. They would get up to full speed, jump and I would catch them and then there is a big hug and kiss.
Here is my issue. I have noticed that for the past few months this child has totally ignored me. When I show up where they are and other kids are around and we are hugging and playing, I notice that they now stand with their arms folded and keep their distance from me. They look at me like they want to rip me apart. 6 years old!!!!!
Well, yesterday after preaching that message on forgiveness they wound up stopping by my office where my wife and I were talking. They run over to my wife and my wife gets this huge hug and kiss that I normally receive. So, I then position myself to get the same treatment. Instead, they folded their arms and just stood there. My wife says, Aren’t you going to give Bishop a hug and kiss, he’s your best friend? They said, “I’m mad at Bishop, he’s not my friend anymore.”
What? What did I do? What did I say? How did I offend a 6 year old child??? Why is she now 4 months hot with me???
I was puzzled and with tears in my eyes, I said, what did I do?
Here is what they said: “You were a judge in a contest that I was in. You’re supposed to be my friend and I didn’t win the prize for first place. I wanted that prize bad.” They felt like since I was a friend that I should have done something so that they would win. They felt I was the reason that they lost.
Wow!!! I was shocked. Why? There were 3 other judges and I was the only one that gave her a perfect score. Why? Because they were in it and I am their “friend”. I would have given them a perfect score if they had fallen down or did nothing but stand there.
Well, when I told them that I gave them a perfect score and was hurt when they didn’t win. The child ran over, leaped in my arms, gave me my big hug and kiss and said, “I HAVE MISSED YOU”. You’re my friend again. (Now, I’m weeping while I write).
Wouldn’t be great if us grown folk could do the same. Just tell us what we’ve done to you so that we can say to you why we did what we did and have an opportunity to ask for forgiveness. If someone doesn’t know what they did they can get it right. I have my little buddy back because they told me what they thought I did. I wasn’t wrong but it didn’t matter, if it hurt them, I wanted to heal them. And if it takes me asking for forgiveness then so be it.
Selah! Okay, that’s my weekly rant and long post.
—Vaughn McLaughlin